Disappointment

I wish I could come on here and talk about how I just killed my workout this morning, about how I put up more weight than I ever thought possible, or about how I took it to another level today, but I can't.  Today was a disaster, from a workout standpoint.  It all started yesterday, I took a half day of work, because of a migraine.  I laid in bed, and slept all afternoon.  You'd think I would have gotten up at some point, ate something good, maybe have a shake, and do something productive, but I didn't.  I ate caramel bars, and nutty bars, drank sugar filled juice.
So, I got up this morning, consumed my Jack3d, preparing for a shoulder workout.  I instantly felt very hungry the moment I got up, so that should have been a sign that maybe my body wasn't ready for a workout.  What I should have done was sat down, ate a bowl of oatmeal, waited a half an hour, and then went and lifted.  Hindsight being 20/20, it is easy to say that now.
Anyway, I headed into the Y, planned to do shoulders.  As usual, I started with clean and press.  I could tell right away at 95 that it was going to be a rough one.  I got to #6, and my shoulders were on fire.  Yet I pushed out 10, and moved forward.  Went to 115, and same thing, the strength wasn't there, and I was instantly fatigued.  I was so angry at myself that I almost walked out of the gym, and went to work.  I gathered myself up, went up to 135, and had to do 2 sets just to get 6 good reps in.  The rest of my workout followed suit.

I'm disappointed in myself for so many reasons.  Mainly i'm disappointed in the fact that I feel I am in this race, where at the start, i'm already 10 miles behind everyone else.  I am very realistic when it comes to what I am trying to accomplish here.  I know I am 35 years old, haven't played a down of real football in over 15 years.  I have eaten shit food for 15 years, worked out sporadically, and let myself get to 190lbs and 20% body fat.  I know that is a huge hill to climb, but it isn't impossible.  I can catch up, and I can play at a high level, but I cannot have let downs like I did this morning.  I don't have the luxury of saying tomorrow will be a better day.  I need to keep building on it. I feel like I took a step back this morning, and that disappoints me.  I know what I need to do moving forward, and I know better.  The time is flying by, and before you know it, tryouts will be here, and then the season.  It really is now, or never.