Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts

Monday, September 24, 2012

The season that should have been.

So, as the season winds to a close, I start thinking about all the things I could have done different, to make this a successful season, personally.  As a team, we didn't have a great season.  Personally, my season was an absolute disaster.  It started with me hurting my left hamstring during a company softball game.  As the left one started to heal, I hurt my right hamstring during a league softball game.  So, here I stand, training hard since October of 2011 to play semi-pro football, and I have 2 hamstring issues and haven't even played a game yet.  Needless to say it effected the first 5 games of the season.  I played sparsely in the first 3 game.  I could play a few plays, and would have to come out, stretch out, and go back in.  So I decided that i'd sit for  the 4th and 5th game, and be ready to play the second half of the season fully healthy.  By the 6th game, I felt good, not great, but I felt my hamstrings were good enough to play competitively.  I started at corner and slot against the Timberjacks. I thought I had played well through the first quarter. Even had a pass defended in the end zone, not only saving a touchdown, but getting us the ball back on offense. I did end up costing my team 2 touchdowns on mistakes at my position.  One was a running play, where I over pursued into the backfield, and the other was a pass play where I didn't realize I had the coverage on the tight end, until it was too late.  I ultimately got pulled on defense in favor of Alex.  They felt I was getting picked on, at the corner, though I disagreed with the decision, the coaches decision is final.  I came back for the 7th game, fired up, ready to play again.  This time they had me starting at strong safety.  I have to tell you, I really enjoyed playing that position.  I got to pretty much play linebacker, and corner at the same time.  I love run support, and I don't have a problem covering guys (though my coaches might have a different opinion). Either way, things were going well until late in the first quarter.  I crashed hard onto the tight end, at the line, to try and stop a running play coming my way.  As I connected with the TE, the Tackle came across and crashed hard on me.  I remember our helmets connecting, but I don't remember anything else until I got up.  I stood up, and saw stars, and then fell backwards.  Everything else is kind of sketchy after that. I remember being on the ground, and someone talking to me.  I thought at first it was my head coach, until I saw the stripes of the refs shirt.  I then remember people helping me up, and being walked off the field.  I don't remember what they were saying to me, or what I was saying to them.  One of my team mates said I called him "Sweetheart" as I got to the sideline, but I don't remember that.  So needless to say I got a concussion.  So, here I sit, miss the first five games, for the most part, because of a stupid hamstring issue, and then i'm going to miss at least the next 2 games, probably all 3, because of a concussion.
My biggest issue isn't the injuries, or about how much work I put in.  The biggest thing that hurts is that I didn't prove anything to myself, or my team mates.  I was a complete non-factor.  I didn't catch 1 pass, or really make any plays on defense.  I had all these visions of success, and none of them came to fruition.  There are a lot of things I should have done differently.  I should have stretched more, or paid more attention to my hamstrings in my training.
The positives from all of this is I now know what I need to focus on this off season in order to be the player I wanted to be, for next season.  The only issue is, I do not know, at this time, if there is going to be a next season.  This concussion has me worried about my future, family, and health.  I have a lot of things to weigh, and doctors to talk with before I make a final decision.  I am hopeful I can play, because I feel like I still have a lot more to give this team, and a lot more to prove to myself, before I hang it up for good.

Monday, May 14, 2012

My ride was thought provoking.

Yesterday was kind of a major accomplishment for me.  That morning, I had decided that I am going to ride the Wiouwash Trail in Oshkosh.  I didn't plan on riding all the way to Hortonville, but that is what I ended up doing.  I then turned around and rode back home.  It was a great accomplishment for me because I hadn't rode that long in probably 25 years!  I think I've done one trip longer, and that was all the way across the city of San Diego with my mom and sisters.  Since then, my furthest ride has been 25 miles, and that was on a stationary bike.  This trip was 44 miles long, when all was said and done.  http://www.endomondo.com/workouts/55310740
I had a lot of time to think  yesterday while riding that trial, by myself.  I thought about playing football, and what I still needed to work on before the season started.  I thought about my career, and how I've really put my "job" on the back seat while I train for the upcoming season.  Not saying I neglect my duties, not at all, but I do not put in the study time that I have put in, in the past.  I normally would go home, and study on a subject, until I had it down.  Now my extra time is spent working with the boys, lifting weights, riding bikes, or studying my play book.  I am not apologetic for it, because I truly believe this is what I have to do in order to be successful.  If I am not successful this season, then it is a waste of my time, the teams time, and my family's time, as I have mentioned in previous posts.
I also had time to think about my family.  I thought about my mom (Rose), and how we used to always go on bike rides all around San Diego, because she didn't drive, and outside of public transportation, it was our only means of transportation.  I thought about my sisters, and how I regret not seeing them more, and spending more time with them..  I thought about my brother Josh, and how I wish he could play football with me before my window closes for this type of competition.  I think it would be something we could both share with our sons, to show them it is never too late to pursue something you love to do.  I thought about my brother Sean, and how I wish I could convince him to get off his ass and face the world.  I also thought about all my nieces and nephews, and how I need to be a better Uncle to all of them.  My mom (Kathy), and how she always made living at home tolerable, and protecting us from...............
I thought about my dad, and how I wish he could see how much I have really accomplished in my life.  As much as I outwardly deny that I care one way or another, what he thinks about me, deep down, we all want to make our parents proud, no matter how things all went growing up.
I thought about all the friends that have come and gone out of my life since the beginning, and how I wonder what each and every one of them are doing.
I thought about my girlfriend, Kathy, and how supportive she has been of everything I want to do, and work for.  I thought about our future together, and what that is actually going to be.  I thought about the boys, Brandon and Jake, and how they really view me.  Maybe i'm just another one of their mother's boyfriends.  I really hope they think more of me than that, but honestly, I don't really know how they feel about me.  I try hard to set an example, and to work hard, and to give them all the things they need to be successful.  I knew growing up, that I wanted for so many things, but I know for a fact that these boys want for nothing.  That's the way I want it to be, and I just hope that the message is getting across to them.
Finally, I thought about my son, Liam.  I thought about how I am going to help him become the man I never was. I thought about how I want to instill in him, hard work, and the success that goes along with it.  I wished he was riding there with me, and how we could just sit and chat about so many things.  I don't want him to ever doubt how much I love him, and I want him to realize how much he has changed my life. I am not the same person I was 4 years ago.  My priorities have completely changed, and I know that my actions do not only effect me anymore.  I feel that if I do not work hard to succeed, I cannot ask anyone else to do it either.  So, I will lead by example.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

So Much Change....

It has been a while since my last post.  I will say that I am working just as hard as I did when I started training to play semi-pro ball.  I've joined endomondo.com, to enter more contests for training.  For work, we are doing a biking competition, May 1st through August 31st.  I'm tracking all my workouts now on the website, and all updates on my progress will be posted to both my Facebook, and Twitter accounts.  It is just one more source of motivation for me, as if I really needed any more.
Tryouts/Mini-camp was this past Sunday.  I have to say that I was very happy with how I performed.  There are still things I need to work on, but all in all, it went really well.  I need to study the playbook a little harder as well.  I'm going to try and take at least an hour each night and do playbook study.  I not only want to learn the B receiver plays, but I also want to learn the A, X, and Z.  I know I had planned on trying out for B, and that's where I lined up during mini-camp, but I am thinking I would like to try A as well, just because in certain formations, there are more running plays.  Also, my hands, still have a lot of work to do there. I just need more and more reps.  I need to keep working on my hand strength.  Things are progressing, but it never seems like it is fast enough for me.
In closing, I will say I have learned so much about myself since October.  I've learned about my limits, and how I really do not have any.  Everything I've put in front of myself, I've been able to conquer, and surpass.  I really never take the time to step back and see what I have accomplish.  I just keep pushing harder, and working towards perfection.  I need more video time, more cardio time, more plyo time, and bottom line, more training time.  Again, I don't want to play for the Outlaws just to tell people I play semi-pro football.  I want to play to make the team better.  If I am not making a difference out there, then I am wasting my time, my family's time, and the Outlaws' time.  I have come a long way, as I stated before.  I've dropped about 25 lbs since I started training.  I am not sure how much body fat, but I am noticing a difference.  I've consumed TONS of supplements, lifted countless amounts of weight, biked, and sprinted hundreds (if not a thousand) miles.  If I don't play at a high level, I can say it is not for a lack of trying.  I don't know where I stand compared to other athletes, pro, semi-pro, college, or high school.  I do know what I have put in to succeeding, and all I can do is hope that it is enough.

Friday, March 30, 2012

New Blood

Since October, i've been weight training with Steve Hosfelt, preparing for my first season of semi-pro football. Steve and I both continue to progress.  I am down to 173lbs, and my body fat has dropped 4% since I started training (according to my Omnitron Body fat tester).  This week, we added a new training partner, Matt Erhard.  He has decided to work towards playing with the Outagamie Outlaws as well.  With Matt, he has the drive necessary to work hard, and achieve his goals.  He is starting fast, and has momentum, and hopefully we can keep that momentum going, even through the rough patches, because there will be rough patches.  Life gets in the way a lot, when it comes to training, and as long as you acknowledge, accept, and embrace those rough patches, you will be fine.
I've had plenty of ups and downs, but I wouldn't change anything.  I have enjoyed training, and really look forward to the next year, and beyond.  It really has been a lifestyle change for me, and hopefully it continues to enrich my life, and therefore influence those people who are part of my life.  There is no final destination to this lifestyle change, other than death.  For this to be a success, I have to be all in.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

My Progress

After a discussion with my girlfriend (Kathy) this morning, about how I felt about not making the gains I had hoped for over last 5 months, and her telling me that she really notices the difference in me . I had remembered that I had taken pictures when I started, just for my own reference. I decided to take a picture this morning, and compare the 2.  I will say that I am nowhere near where I want to be, but I have to admit, even to myself, that I have made some progress.   Here is what that progress looked like.  Again, I know that I have a long way to go, but I think that the hard work, countless hours at the gym, and support of so many friends, and all my family.  I have started to get somewhere.  Once again, this is only the beginning.  We will do this again in a couple months and see where we are at.  I am learning new things about my body every single day, and I believe every little bit helps.

10/3/2011


02/23/2012

Driven.....

Driven, when I first thought about that word, it seemed obvious to me, as to what it meant.  As I progress through my current journey, the word continues to somewhat evolve. I honestly never considered myself a drive n person.  I always reserved that word for people who I perceived as successful, and built, and wealthy.  I figured i'd always be on the outside looking in, and that I'd never the "drive" that the successful people do.  Then I sat back, and I looked at what I have accomplished since October of 2011, the month that I decided that I was going to do whatever it took to not just "play" semi-pro football, but do everything I possibly could to train so I could be a stand out player.
I am trying to be the overly humble person that is almost annoyingly modest about their accomplishments.  Granted, I haven't cured cancer, and I haven't helped the homeless, but at the same time I haven't sat on my ass hoping things would happen for me.  The workouts, supplements, and skills training all add up to a sense of accomplishment.  I have really done something in the last 5 months, but at the same time, I have just begun.  Which leads me to my next point.  One thing I've found demoralizing, yet inspiring at the same time is the fact that you are never done.  Meaning, sometimes you think, hey if I get to 200lbs, i'll be done, or if I get down to 5% body fat i'll be done, or maybe, if I catch every pass thrown to me, I'll be done.  The truth of the matter is, you are never done.  The harder I work, and the more goals I meet, the more I find new things to accomplish.  I find more things I can be better at. You close one door behind you, and turn around, and there are 50 more doors in front of you.  I am not complaining though, I actually find it motivating.  What would this all be worth if it was easy?  Everyone would be a professional athlete if you didn't have to work hard at it.  I've really started down a life long path of health and wellness.  What I have gained in these 5 months are a new foundation to my life.  I am in great shape, and I am eating better than I ever have.  I am also very realistic.  I know that this is just the beginning, and I am not looking for an end.  I'll just keep setting milestones, and I'll just keep moving forward, and getting better.  Hopefully one day I can use what I have learned to inspire someone else to take a similar journey, and help them through it.  That is all yet to be determined.  I really wouldn't trade this for anything, I am honestly excited about the future, and where I am going.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Diet, Training, and progress

Lots has happened in the last couple of weeks.  I have started tracking my diet with MyFitnessPal on my IPhone. My calories have been very strict, and I have not gone over my allotted calories for that particular day.  I try and keep my fat very low, and my protein at about 1gm per pound of body weight, and my carbs around 40% of my diet. So far, so good.  The only discouraging part of the whole thing is, my body fat hasn't dropped at all in the past 2 weeks.  I'm not sure what to make of that, but i'll continue to monitor it, and see where it goes.

As for my training, I am still training regularly, but the times are sporadic, and therefore a little chaotic for my liking.  I'm still getting all my workouts in for the week, but it is just all over the board.  My gains have leveled off, and that wasn't unexpected.  I will say that I am consistently sore though, and that worries me a little bit.  I do not want to believe that I am over training, but I do have to make sure that I am closely monitoring it.  I do not want my workouts to be counter productive.

My supplement intake has been very consistent.  Protein Shake with creatine, first thing in the morning, along with my Armor-V vitamin.  I then eat an orange, and have a cup of coffee.  10 am a bowl of Oatmeal, and then lunch time, I have usually have a good carb, protein, and some fruit.  Again, I feel my diet is pretty good, not great, but a heck of a lot better than it was.

As for football, there are a lot of things I need to work harder on.  I really need more receiving practice.  I let too many balls bounce off my hands in warm-ups last night, and my confidence was a little shaken, which mentally is not acceptable.  So, more work, and more concentration.

My goals are becoming more and more clear.  I need to increase my speed, strength, endurance, and weight, and reduce my body fat. Once I see those things happening, I'll worry more about numbers, and actual milestones.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Flag Football Game #2

I'm going to change up how I BLOG about my training in the very near future.  Reading about individual weight increases is getting redundant and dry.  I think I'll keep weekly stats and measurements, and any milestones I reach, but keep the individual lifts out of the whole thing.  I'm going to focus more on what I am doing, my thoughts on what I am doing, and discoveries I make along the way.  Be it supplementation, dieting, new training routines, equipment reviews, etc etc....

So, on to my game from last night.  We ended up losing the game, but we only played with 6 guys, and the other team definitely took advantage of the height difference.  Short passes were killing me last night, I just couldn't get underneath the route.  I was giving them the short stuff, and hoping for a mistake, which never came. I did get to play some offense last night, and have a couple catches, but not scores.  I'm sure as Alex gets more comfortable with what I can do, I'll get more opportunities.  Right now i'm using it as an opportunity to get some cardio work in, and some work with the guys on the Outlaws.  A couple of things from last night.  I'm not overly impressed with the NFL Equipment Mayhem gloves.  They really loose their grip quickly, until refreshed with water (or sweat, or spit).  My Under Armor gloves stayed sticky longer.  Also, the medium is just a hair too big, but the small was too small. I'm going to try the Reebok Fade, and maybe see what Nike has for gloves as well. Also, I bought a new pair of running shoes.  They are New Balance, and very light, and comfortable.  I got to really work them over last night, and I really do like them.  I will see once I get to try them at XLR8, and see how they are for running wide open.
Next week, I am wearing long socks, that come up to my knees.  My legs got really tore up on the turf this week.  Maybe I should try and stay on my feet more, but at the same time, my style is wide open, so full commitment on every play, so whatever happens, happens.

Quote

" Giving up is for those who never intended to be great, but only posed so that we could admire what they would never become."
George Stoichev

Monday, January 16, 2012

Quote

"When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too." - Paulo Coelho

Quote

"Don't go through life, grow through life." - Eric Butterworth

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Quote

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

First flag football game

Last night was my first flag football game in probably 10+ years.  It was great meeting some of the guys from the Outlaws (team i'll be playing tackle football with in the fall).  I feel I played o.k., but I have some things to work on.  I am a little more sore than anticipated, but a lot of that is my fault, one, not enough stretching, and two, I probably played a little more physical than I really had to.  So, I am looking forward to next week.  We did end up winning 60-46.  I am really looking forward to throwing on the pads and playing...

Monday, January 9, 2012

Post Flu, Crushed Iron, and a helmet

Friday I crashed and burned hard after a great Thursday night workout.  The flu hit me Friday morning, and by noon I was completely out of commission.  It really sucked, because Saturday morning was sprint training @ XLR8, and I didn't get to participate.  Brandon did though, and he absolutely killed it.  He was able to run 20mph again, and gave an attempt @ 21mph.  He only last 3 seconds, but it was a balance thing, and he will be able to give it another shot in the coming month.
Sunday, Steve and I hit the gym, and we hit it hard.  I hadn't walked out of the gym feeling like I sprinted for an hour and a half, ever, especially after only lifting weights.  But we really hit it hard.  We started with power cleans, and got up to 145, but it was limited rest in between, and it got us warmed up quickly.  Next, we moved on to squats.  We did them a little different this time, and honestly, we may stick with this method.  On minimal rest, this was our sequence.  135, 225, 275, 295, 315, 225, 185, 135.  At the end of that, we were absolutely done, but we still had upright rows, shrugs, and dead lifts to do.  Upright rows, and shrugs we do as super sets.  So we got through those relatively easy.  Dead lifts we decided to do a little different as well.  We stayed at 135, but we had to do 50 reps, with minimal rest.  I'd do as many as I could, then Steve would jump on, do his set, then i'd jump on immediately do my next set, and so on.  Needless to say, I was complete jello by the end of our workout.
This morning, Brandon and I went to run routes, it was my first session wearing my helmet.  I was very happy that the helmet did not impede my vision at all.  Also, the shield did not fog up at all, even though I was breathing pretty hard.  I was able to make the catches I would be expected to make.  The next step is to incorporate shoulder pads, and see how limited my range of motion is.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Quote

"Do not be afraid of death. Be afraid of the half-lived life!" - Laird Hamilton

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Quote

"As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world, as in being able to remake ourselves." - Mahatma Gandhi

Quote

"Great works are performed, not by strength, but perseverance." - Samuel Johnson

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Quote

"High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation." - Charles Kettering

Back at it!!!!

After a full week away from touching weights, I finally got back at it on Monday (1/2/2012).  I will start off by saying that the week off was very good for my body.  I ended up doing nothing, except for one session with Mike Draheim at XLR8, for sprinting and agility.  Other than that, I sat on my ass, and played XBox 360, and just ate like crap.  I figured, after 3 months of hard work, a week of brainless activity was in order.
Last night, Steve and I hit the chest pretty hard.  I finished my sets @ 265 on the bench, and they came back down to 225, and then 185.  Then we jumped over to dips.  I finsihed dips @ 90lbs.  Incline bench was just as eventful, except I finished it @ 205, instead of the normal 225.  Finally, we added pullovers back into the routine.  They went really well last night, and I think that I was a little light on the weight.  I finished @ 60lbs, but could probably have finished @ 70, if I hadn't started so low.
We are now going to work chest and legs in twice a week.  Along with sprint training once a week, swimming one day a week, skills training twice a week, and biking twice a week I should be ready for the season....hopefully.  I know i'm working harder, but I just hope i'm working smarter.  I want to be maximizing my time in the gym. I do realize I need a very intense stretching routine added in very soon, as well as a hard core, "core" routine.  More to come on all of that.