The season that should have been.

So, as the season winds to a close, I start thinking about all the things I could have done different, to make this a successful season, personally.  As a team, we didn't have a great season.  Personally, my season was an absolute disaster.  It started with me hurting my left hamstring during a company softball game.  As the left one started to heal, I hurt my right hamstring during a league softball game.  So, here I stand, training hard since October of 2011 to play semi-pro football, and I have 2 hamstring issues and haven't even played a game yet.  Needless to say it effected the first 5 games of the season.  I played sparsely in the first 3 game.  I could play a few plays, and would have to come out, stretch out, and go back in.  So I decided that i'd sit for  the 4th and 5th game, and be ready to play the second half of the season fully healthy.  By the 6th game, I felt good, not great, but I felt my hamstrings were good enough to play competitively.  I started at corner and slot against the Timberjacks. I thought I had played well through the first quarter. Even had a pass defended in the end zone, not only saving a touchdown, but getting us the ball back on offense. I did end up costing my team 2 touchdowns on mistakes at my position.  One was a running play, where I over pursued into the backfield, and the other was a pass play where I didn't realize I had the coverage on the tight end, until it was too late.  I ultimately got pulled on defense in favor of Alex.  They felt I was getting picked on, at the corner, though I disagreed with the decision, the coaches decision is final.  I came back for the 7th game, fired up, ready to play again.  This time they had me starting at strong safety.  I have to tell you, I really enjoyed playing that position.  I got to pretty much play linebacker, and corner at the same time.  I love run support, and I don't have a problem covering guys (though my coaches might have a different opinion). Either way, things were going well until late in the first quarter.  I crashed hard onto the tight end, at the line, to try and stop a running play coming my way.  As I connected with the TE, the Tackle came across and crashed hard on me.  I remember our helmets connecting, but I don't remember anything else until I got up.  I stood up, and saw stars, and then fell backwards.  Everything else is kind of sketchy after that. I remember being on the ground, and someone talking to me.  I thought at first it was my head coach, until I saw the stripes of the refs shirt.  I then remember people helping me up, and being walked off the field.  I don't remember what they were saying to me, or what I was saying to them.  One of my team mates said I called him "Sweetheart" as I got to the sideline, but I don't remember that.  So needless to say I got a concussion.  So, here I sit, miss the first five games, for the most part, because of a stupid hamstring issue, and then i'm going to miss at least the next 2 games, probably all 3, because of a concussion.
My biggest issue isn't the injuries, or about how much work I put in.  The biggest thing that hurts is that I didn't prove anything to myself, or my team mates.  I was a complete non-factor.  I didn't catch 1 pass, or really make any plays on defense.  I had all these visions of success, and none of them came to fruition.  There are a lot of things I should have done differently.  I should have stretched more, or paid more attention to my hamstrings in my training.
The positives from all of this is I now know what I need to focus on this off season in order to be the player I wanted to be, for next season.  The only issue is, I do not know, at this time, if there is going to be a next season.  This concussion has me worried about my future, family, and health.  I have a lot of things to weigh, and doctors to talk with before I make a final decision.  I am hopeful I can play, because I feel like I still have a lot more to give this team, and a lot more to prove to myself, before I hang it up for good.