My ride was thought provoking.

Yesterday was kind of a major accomplishment for me.  That morning, I had decided that I am going to ride the Wiouwash Trail in Oshkosh.  I didn't plan on riding all the way to Hortonville, but that is what I ended up doing.  I then turned around and rode back home.  It was a great accomplishment for me because I hadn't rode that long in probably 25 years!  I think I've done one trip longer, and that was all the way across the city of San Diego with my mom and sisters.  Since then, my furthest ride has been 25 miles, and that was on a stationary bike.  This trip was 44 miles long, when all was said and done.  http://www.endomondo.com/workouts/55310740
I had a lot of time to think  yesterday while riding that trial, by myself.  I thought about playing football, and what I still needed to work on before the season started.  I thought about my career, and how I've really put my "job" on the back seat while I train for the upcoming season.  Not saying I neglect my duties, not at all, but I do not put in the study time that I have put in, in the past.  I normally would go home, and study on a subject, until I had it down.  Now my extra time is spent working with the boys, lifting weights, riding bikes, or studying my play book.  I am not apologetic for it, because I truly believe this is what I have to do in order to be successful.  If I am not successful this season, then it is a waste of my time, the teams time, and my family's time, as I have mentioned in previous posts.
I also had time to think about my family.  I thought about my mom (Rose), and how we used to always go on bike rides all around San Diego, because she didn't drive, and outside of public transportation, it was our only means of transportation.  I thought about my sisters, and how I regret not seeing them more, and spending more time with them..  I thought about my brother Josh, and how I wish he could play football with me before my window closes for this type of competition.  I think it would be something we could both share with our sons, to show them it is never too late to pursue something you love to do.  I thought about my brother Sean, and how I wish I could convince him to get off his ass and face the world.  I also thought about all my nieces and nephews, and how I need to be a better Uncle to all of them.  My mom (Kathy), and how she always made living at home tolerable, and protecting us from...............
I thought about my dad, and how I wish he could see how much I have really accomplished in my life.  As much as I outwardly deny that I care one way or another, what he thinks about me, deep down, we all want to make our parents proud, no matter how things all went growing up.
I thought about all the friends that have come and gone out of my life since the beginning, and how I wonder what each and every one of them are doing.
I thought about my girlfriend, Kathy, and how supportive she has been of everything I want to do, and work for.  I thought about our future together, and what that is actually going to be.  I thought about the boys, Brandon and Jake, and how they really view me.  Maybe i'm just another one of their mother's boyfriends.  I really hope they think more of me than that, but honestly, I don't really know how they feel about me.  I try hard to set an example, and to work hard, and to give them all the things they need to be successful.  I knew growing up, that I wanted for so many things, but I know for a fact that these boys want for nothing.  That's the way I want it to be, and I just hope that the message is getting across to them.
Finally, I thought about my son, Liam.  I thought about how I am going to help him become the man I never was. I thought about how I want to instill in him, hard work, and the success that goes along with it.  I wished he was riding there with me, and how we could just sit and chat about so many things.  I don't want him to ever doubt how much I love him, and I want him to realize how much he has changed my life. I am not the same person I was 4 years ago.  My priorities have completely changed, and I know that my actions do not only effect me anymore.  I feel that if I do not work hard to succeed, I cannot ask anyone else to do it either.  So, I will lead by example.